One of the absolute worst things is when you’re stressing over something or you have a big decision to make and someone else knows about this decision and they give you some kind of crazy obnoxious cliché answer.
Like “everything happens for a reason” oooorrrr “When God closes a door, he opens a window”.
While I am a firm believer in the Divine, I think that is one of the dumbest sayings.
When a door closes, sometimes a door simply closes and nothing else on that metaphorical house is going to open because it’s simply not the right house.
So, in the past, I’ve talked about overcoming your fear of failure and that we can’t just live in fear and never chase our dreams because we’re afraid of failing.
I used to be terrified of failing. To be honest, I still am.
It’s only because I’ve realized that failing is part of the process of success that I am able to step out of my comfort zone and go after the things that mean the most to me.
There’s something that I need to make clear though, stepping out of your comfort zone does not mean that you are or should be reckless.
Stepping out of your comfort zone, means that you realize there is something more important than fear, and you must step out there.
A comfort zone can be a pretty large space. Most of our lives we live in the comfort zone.
Think of a football field. As long as the defense can keep that offense between at least 30 yards away from the end zone, then that’s fairly comfortable.
50 yard line is even better, right?
That’s the way we live most of our life. We find the safe job with good benefits. We buy a car that we are comfortable driving and comfy with the payment.
We hang around people that make us comfortable and avoid books and ideas that make us uncomfortable.
Why? Well, simply put, it’s human nature.
Here’s the rule- ready? You have to realize that your dream and goals are more important than your comfort.
Have you ever thought about what you want most in life? What is it in this life that you want so badly you can literally taste it?
Why is it that you haven’t obtained that?
Because if it was comfortable to go get it, you would already have it by now. It’s one of those things that will be uncomfortable and sometimes painful to achieve.
The movie is quite literally the best thing ever.
In this movie, Tom Hanks is email pen pals with Meg Ryan and unbeknownst to him, his store is putting her store out of business.
While they are instant messaging, he tells her that to save her business she has to “Go to the mattresses” which is a saying from the movie the Godfather.
What that means is that she was going to have to “go to war” to save her business.
This notion was completely foreign to her; she was a very kind and sweet person, and to “go to the mattresses” she was going to have to have to fight dirty.
This doesn’t mean to do anything unethical. All it means is that to achieve what you want the most, you’re going to have to get your hands dirty and scrape up your knees.
It means that you will have to get out of the comfort zone and into the red zone.
Now, you probably don’t have a business to save, but here’s my point.
Sometimes to reach what we really want in life requires us to “go to the mattresses”. It means that we have to get down in the dirt and make our own way.
This world isn’t going to hand it to us. In fact, it’s making it harder and harder to overcome.
Be smart, make solid decisions, but sometimes those solid decisions are scary. This is where your backbone comes in. Stand tall, feel the fear, and do it anyway.
Remember what I said about sometimes the metaphorical house simply isn’t the right house?
Follow the bouncing ball…
On the journey to what we are dreaming about, we will come across houses that are simply not the right houses.
Those houses are lessons to be learned and then to move on in our journey.
When a door or a stinking window is closed, STOP BEATING ON THE WINDOW.
For the love of protein shakes, stop beating on the window. Instead, re-evaluate where you are and where you’re going, then make your plan, and work your plan.
Along the way, sometimes we figure out that what we wanted most in life, isn’t what we wanted at all. As you grow, so does your dreams and your goals.
It’s called growing up and learning who you are and what it is that you really do want.
Ever heard the saying:
Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.
– Robin Sharma
Well, now you have and it’s so true. Dream big, get out there and get after it.
Along the way, you will learn lessons and your dream will be tweaked. It will! And that’s okay.
My dream used to be to be a publicist in Hollywood. I wanted to help others achieve their dreams. Over the years it has been tweaked to helping women achieve their fitness goals and dreams.
Helping them live their best life. It’s time to “go to the mattresses” for your own life.
Don’t you think? Get out there. Face life head on and go after what you want most and be willing to learn lessons along the way and allow your dream to be tweaked.
Just like in the movie “You’ve Go Mail” *spoiler alert* her door was closed on what she wanted most (which was to keep her mother’s book store open), she realized that a window wasn’t going to open, but she didn’t wallow in her self pity either.
She got back up, she brushed herself off after her long fight, and found a new dream.
Keep dreaming big; when the door closes or even when the door opens and you achieve that dream, find a new dream. Then tweak your dream as you go.
Because with tweaking comes growth, with growth comes maturity, and with maturity comes discipline, with discipline comes success.
You’ve got this. I believe in you.