The gym is actually a pretty hilarious place if you think about it. Think of the gym like an airport. People in airports are the funniest creatures on the planet and close behind that is people in the gym. We’ve all seen gym humor memes and some of them are pretty clever.
Having worked (do currently work) in a gym, these are things that either my clients have thought, I personally have though, or have heard people say. This is just scratching the surface but it’s all pretty hilarious.
Something that I want to make sure that we cover before we dive into the hilarity that is these points; don’t fear the gym. Don’t fear the weight room. Better yet, don’t fear the gym!
There have been several girls that I have worked with that have had to overcome their fear of the gym and the concern that everyone is watching them.
I’d really like to put your mind at ease here… 9 times out of 10, people are paying attention only to themselves.
People are pretty self focused in the gym as they are paying attention to their own gains and their own progress.
Especially with the outcry of women complaining about men being ‘creepy’ in the gym, the general male population really has backed off. If you do feel creeped out, go inform a gym employee immediately!
Now! Let’s move onto the meat of the post.
- The hardest step in going to the gym is the first step out the door. Okay. Here we go, we can do this.
- I had pre-workout as well as coffee & I can smell the color 8.
- I guess I should stretch first. Ya know they always say to stretch but I don’t know who ‘they’ are. Are there gym gods or something?
- I won’t quit, but I will cuss the entire time
- I swear I put deodorant on but I’m pretty sure I smell like a dump truck.
- How many squats? How will I sit down to pee?
- Why is that person still in the gym? They look amazing. Don’t you reach a certain point then you quit coming?
- Well, whoever said a minute wasn’t a long time has never done a plank
- Really don’t want to wash my hair since I’m going to be working out tonight…
- I had to tell somebody I can’t go hang out because I was going to the gym
- I’m pretty sure I just died.
- Do you ever just grab your own butt because you’re so proud of it?
- My pants are falling off. The elastic is shot in these…. Oh, it’s a drawstring
- Dead lift form = the bend and snap movement from Legally Blonde
- I have to pee again… Dang hydration
- Somebody want to share a bar? You lift one side I’ll lift the other?
- Yep, already sweating
- Nobody better touch my legs today. Leg day was yesterday and they might get throat punched.
- Why is everyone so obsessed with burpees
- I am going to be so strong. I’m so excited. I can do this…. *3 minutes later* I can’t do this.
- It Burns! This just means I’ll look good naked
- Thrusters are from Satan.
- My lifting gloves smell like a dead cat
- I’m hungry
- I’m pretty sure my arm fell off over there. I need to go pick it back up.
- They didn’t re-rack their weights properly; I’m going to throat punch them
- My legs are going to be so sore I’ll be walking like a baby giraffe
- 20 min left… that’s 10 minutes twice… 5 minutes 4 times… I can do this
- I need my booty fatter and my stomach flatter
- Literally am sweating in places I didn’t know existed.
- Did the coach just say fun things planned? Oh my gosh, we’re going to die.
- No, not cheese dip, guac sounds better
- Yep, looking good….
- Oh wait, that wasn’t me in the mirror
- Why is this called the StairMaster? If the stairs were actually moving and taking me somewhere I’d be on an escalator and my butt wouldn’t feel like its sitting on my shoulders
- Squat? Oh yeah, no thanks, I thought you said guac
- Why am I at the gym at 5:00. I could be sleeping.
- Okay, so if I do this workout and it burns 800 calories, that means I can have a donut! No, skip the donut. I don’t need a donut. Food does NOT define me.
- I’m sorry for what I said while I was doing thrusters
- What kind of exercises pump up your boobs? I need squats, but for boobs.
- Run? Oh, no I’m sorry, I thought you said Rum.
- First my arm fell off, now my leg fell off.
- Wow, they had too much pre-workout
- I’m dead. I’ve died, I’m dead
- Unless Jesus himself walks through that door right over there and tells me to run, I’m not running
- I’m already walking funny. Ugh. Not sure how I’m going to pee tomorrow.
- Well that was sufficiently horrible. See you tomorrow!
Did I miss one?
I know I did. There’s just too many to name! Leave me a comment and tell me what I’ve missed.
I know for me I always think something weird each time I’m on a run or in the gym. Plus, hearing other gym goers talking to themselves or to others. It’s the best.
That said, embrace the hilarity of the gym. Think of it as an airport where everybody is on their own planet while being under the same roof.
Just like at an airport where our goal is to get on an airplane to reach our destination; the gym is the same in that we’re all working to better ourselves in the gym. We’re just at different stages of the journey.
Weird analogy, right? It makes sense though!
Moral of the story? Embrace the journey and don’t compare yourself to others. We each have our own journey and story to tell. That’s what make the world go round.