Hello My dear reader,
If you’re reading this, you’re either subscribed to my blog and get emails every time that I post a new blog post, or you’ve stumbled across my blog through randomness of the interwebs, or you’ve clicked over from one of my social media channels.
It has been 2 months since I have posted a blog post and this year I’ve only written 5 blog posts when I normally average around 75 blog posts per year.
This past Tuesday, I sent out to my email list where I have been and what has been going on.
That I didn’t fall off the planet, but that my life and the life of my family has been turned upside down this past year. And, yes, I know it’s 2020 and the world is crazy. But, I’m talking more personally.
Here is the email I sent to my list that tells the story…
It’s been a minute since I came into your inbox, hasn’t it? Gosh. Two months. Well, there’s a good reason for that.
Actually, several good reasons.
I found myself saying “I wasn’t expecting that” a LOT over this past year. And, I’m not just talking about what’s going on in the world around us. I’m talkin about in our own home.
This is the part where I’m going to tell you a long story about what has happened, how life can happen and take over, and how we can make those setbacks our greatest moments. It’s going to be super raw, open, and honest.
So, if those kinds of stories annoy you, or you’re not interested, then you can totally stop reading, no hard feelings. 🙂
Keep in mind, that what I have gone through this year is going to be part of my platform of how I help women just like you, moving forward. If you don’t want to read the entire story, you can scroll down until you see “if you skipped a lot of this email, start reading here”.
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
Right after Thanksgiving of last year, we found a lump on my husband’s thyroid and we went in to the doctor to have it checked out. While tests were being run and we were waiting on answers, he had a severe tachycardia episode that was extremely frightening and there was a moment when I was watching this happen that I thought my healthy and fit husband was having a heart attack at age 32.
I won’t go into the details but I will never forget it as long as I live. That was then followed by heart monitors, more tests piled on top of even more tests. EKGs, echocardiagrams, and so much blood work that his arm was bruised.
Even after all of that… no answers.
It’s now February and we have lost count of the amount of doctors we have seen. We make an appointment with a fourth cardiologist and he sees everything we have done to this point and says, well, it’s time to go in and look at his heart and see what we can find and we need to do it immediately.
By this point in our journey, my anxiety is on overload, I’m exhausted, and to be quite frank, a angry at the lack of answers.
Plus, at that time Joshua was struggling in his little class at school and there was something wrong with my husband that we don’t know what it was, and he (and I) had been having anxiety from everything we have been through.
My husband has always been as cool as a cucumber and never been anxious. I was watching not only his physical health deteriorate quickly, but his mental health.
It was terrifying and exhausting and I was again, angry at lack of answers and feeling lost.
The cardiologist went in and found that there was a birth defect in his heart that had laid dormant until his 32nd year of life.
Doctor W. had to ‘kill’ that extra electrical pathway that was causing his heart to have these crazy tachycardia episodes that would send his heart rate into the 190’s.
Finally, by March, with his heart fixed, the lump on his thyroid simply a cyst that needed to be drained, we felt like we were on our way back to some sort of normal. At least at home anyway, even though the world around us seemed to be falling apart.
However, it was the end of March that David was having insomnia and anxiety and decided to go to therapy where he was diagnosed with PTSD from these severe episodes and such major health issues in such a short time.
By this point, I’m exhausted to the point of I felt like I was drowning in caffeine and I had dark circles and puffiness under my eyes. I was trying to care for my husband, son, and run a business.
It was also around that time that I had a severe panic attack where I blacked out and David wanted me to seek help. Because I had been caring for him during his sickness as well as Joshua and it was really getting to me.
Or so we thought…
We thought it was exhaustion and depression that was rearing its ugly head.
After trying different medications and coming up short, I realized that my hair was falling out, my skin was breaking out terribly, and I was retaining fluid like crazy. Not only that, my strength during my workouts was depleting. A year ago, I was squatting 125 pounds for reps. I got to the point where I would squat 65 pounds and by rep 10 I felt like I was dying.
By this time, it’s July, right after Joshua’s fourth birthday.
I kept telling myself that it was just exhaustion and stress from the crazy year we’ve not only had as a family, but also what was happening in the world around us.
But, David knew better. He knows me like he knows his way around the woods and can read me like a book. Plus, even with all of his health issues he had going on, he still showed up for work every single day and even started a side business. He still took such good care of us, even in the midst of the category 5 hurricane that is the year 2020. But I digress…
David encouraged me to get a different medical opinion. I went and had blood drawn and another two weeks later I finally get the results.
I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease.
Which is an auto immune disorder that causes hypothyroidism. At a very high level, this means that my body has created antibodies that attack my thyroid and eventually kill it. Which then means I will be on hormone replacement for the rest of my life.
Symptoms of this disease are exhaustion, depression, severe anxiety, hair loss, irritability… Literally everything I had been experiencing.
Where did this come from? Doctors believe it was triggered by the high stress and changes that we had been under over the past year.
On top of that, my ‘female hormones’ have never fully recovered from having a baby four years ago and I will have to get hormone replacement for that as well.
To make a really long story, long, I’ve been sick and didn’t realize it.
After getting all of these answers and the healing process it would take, David and I made the decision together that I would take a step back and only work with my clients that I currently had but that was it. My strive for growth in the business would be halted for a few months so that I could focus on healing my body.
David and I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to work through his PTSD and my severe anxiety to take care of our mental health.
We also started homeschooling Joshua this year and I needed to get my mind wrapped around how to properly do that and get us on a schedule.
This process has been extremely difficult. Because, by nature, I love to work and I absolutely love my job, so I have missed this.
Here is the moral of this ginormously long story….
Self care is more than getting your nails done and going for a massage and shopping in TJMaxx.
True self care stems from taking care of yourself; mind, body and soul. And not necessarily in that order.
The way self care has looked for me has been taking a break from my work (besides my current clients) and focusing on getting the medical help I needed, the rest and exercise my body needs, and focusing on my relationship with Christ and my family.
I will be doing a relaunch of the business over the next several months and there will be a very small shift of focus.
>**If you skipped a lot of this email, start reading here….**<
Over this difficult time, I have truly realized the importance of making health a lifestyle. While I have always taught and coached this, somehow, the focus always seemed to go back to weight loss because that is what women tend to want and those were the questions I always seemed to get.
When in actuality, if we shift the focus from weight loss to building strength and focusing on loving the body that the Lord gave you, and building the very best you; the weight loss will take care of itself.
Here’s what you can expect over the course of the next 3 months as we finish out this year that is 2020 and the moving forward through 2021:
- An email from me every single week with updates as to what is going on and how the relaunch is coming. I’ll be doing giveaways of workout programs, shirts, etc.
- A focus of sharing killer content on Pinterest from both myself and from other world class coaches. Be sure to follow me on Pinterest here
- The launch of a podcast, as that has been requested by several followers, readers, and clients. Their reasoning was that they are able to listen to podcasts more than they can read a blog. Stay tuned for more information!
- My Instagram account is still live, however, the most important content will be found on the blog, on the podcast, and right here on this email list. My Instagram will be more real and honest posts and stories about my life and how I’m dealing with this disease.
- I will still write blog posts and will pick that back up once the podcast has been launched.
I’m going to stop right there and let you digest what all I just told you.
To be honest, it has been quite an ordeal and it’s very hard being so raw with you. However, I want to be real, open and honest because life is real. Life is raw.
Life is not a pretty Instagram picture, although those are fun to look at. Life is raw and sometimes not very pretty. But life can be beautiful.
We were not put on this earth to try to lose weight, pay bills, then pass on. We were put on this earth to LIVE.
And moving forward that is what I fully intend on teaching you to do. Taking that guesswork out of healthy and full living and finding our worth not by the number on the scale, but who we are through Christ. Helping you reach your fitness goals by focusing on getting crazy strong and much more focus on home workouts that are convenient for busy mothers.
If you have any questions, I’m happy to answer, simply hit reply to this email and it will come straight to my inbox. I’ve learned a lot on this journey with my own health and taking care of my husband and I hope to pass on to you what I have learned.
Hey, you. Yes, you-
If you’re still reading this, I thank you. That means that something I have said reaches you. You are loved and you have value.
I’ll see you on Friday with the weekly newsletter. Have an amazing Tuesday night!”
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